For what feels like the better part of an aeon, a near equally-endless array of the vile punditry and our hapless American citizenry have watched a 2016 POTUS election cycle that would have Saint “Mom” Theresa swearing in rage. Were it a human pregnancy, Senator Rubio would be tempted to terminate it himself at the hands of a coat hanger from the dregs of the Flint River.
Overkill? No, a nuclear land mine is overkill; this would be the mercy killing of a generation that no living person would mourn. The lone caveat, notwithstanding, is that if he were not one of the world’s inaugural surviving heart donors, Donald J. Trump has long since been ready to end this bold-faced mockery of the American people and shift gears into…finger painting, founding a prominent Manhattan purveyor of fried, stuffed gopher or whatever else his refusal to take Adderall drives him hurtling headlong into. In The King’s English? The Donald has no tears for failing to convince an apathetic electorate of him being the second coming of Richard Nixon (nobody thinks Nixon less than brilliant) or Macho Man Randy Savage, eerily-reminiscent sniffles aside.
Gary Johnson’s too busy wandering around the urban jungles of a tie-dyed American roadshow on a head full of acid, too preoccupied with messing up with failed Jeopardy auditions (“what is Aleppo?”) to emerge from his wounded stupor and actually matter. Besides, a former governor of New Mexico (of GOP origin) running with a former Republican governor of Massachusetts hardly inspired the Libertarian faithful; no, that task was up to the fat male stripper and he blew it.
And Jill Stein? Her successful ascent to the top of the Green Party ticket made a Ralph Nader/Ruth Bader Ginsberg lovechild seem a visionary triumph, a gambit into anti-charisma deemed unsafe on speed (or any other drug).
I left these dreadful scenes behind for the third and final POTUS 2016 debate, uncertain as to whether I was following a political campaign or paying Han Solo’s tab at the Mos Eisley Spaceport Cantina. Greedo had more fun than I was having, and the lint from the libertarian fat man’s navel performed better than the debaters last night.
Whatever. I digress…every damned day.
Content/Evidence: For the better part of thirty minutes, Donald J. Trump reigned supreme. Not that this says much, but compared to his first two outings he was the definition of “calm, cool and collected.” In fact, the first real zinger of the night came when a question on her “open borders” remarks were called into account and her answer ended up closer to the identity of Jack The Ripper than being topical, bringing Trump to quip, “That was a very big pivot from open borders.” This elicited the first interruption of the night from the audience and the first admonishment, respectively, from moderator Chris Wallace for them to remain silent. Secretary Clinton, for once, was the first to take the evening into its inevitably negative territory. Much like a game of Hearts where, yes, they surely shall be broken, these debates and the ad hominem attacks are a matter of “when” rather than “if,” and saying Trump “choked” when in talks with the President of Mexico was the first whiff of open hostility I heard. You may hear a different story elsewhere and I’m not calling them a liar nor am I admitting to falsehood, I simply didn’t hear it from Trump first this time. Regardless, this was hardly a deal breaker because, while, yes, I would’ve let this debate round approach the 35-40 minute mark(s) but it still would not have continued as was if I was the controlling voice of moderation. Fox News’ Chris Wallace did make a very strong attempt, however, to stay on top of both candidates and their respective propensities for dodging questions and confabulation with the answers they do provide. If the screaming fans of “Twilight” are (as Robert Pattinson/Edward Cullen said) like the sounds one meets at the Gates of Hell, then these two replicate the idle warning cries of the hounds straddling the River Styx; too little, too late and nobody cares by the time they realize the origin of the BS of the hour.
Argument/Reasoning: Overall, both candidates were vastly improved but Trump’s performance was markedly the most improved as he clearly was uncomfortable with the town hall format of the prior debate, often appearing to loom over Clinton and rarely sitting in the chair provided. Again, this debate could be labeled such for about half an hour, at which point the ad hominem attacks took over and any real substance ceased to exist. Clinton did a less effective job of getting under her opponent’s skin and was obviously concerned with not losing, with not making a mistake, rather than winning.
Organization: Clinton was the first of the two to go way off of the topic posed, as I mentioned before, where she was struggling to deflect attention from her e-mail (provided by Wikileaks) showing she favored “open borders.” Clinton also presented a massive contradiction by condemning Trump’s cozy public dialogue with Russian president Vladimir Putin and his thinly-veiled calls for Wikileaks to continue hacking her and the DNC yet she then questioned whether or not the e-mail(s) moderator Chris Wallace was referring to contained valid content. So…which is it? Is Trump naughty for encouraging the hacks to continue, or were the hacks meaningless because the content was altered? Clinton was more “all over the place” than the highly-ADHD Trump. Took a lot of doing, but she did it. He was, well, as ADHD as ever.
Presentation/Delivery: Trump was much calmer and clearly had his strongest performance of the debate trilogy while, again, Clinton was more concerned with not losing than winning. Her major goal, again, was obviously to irritate Trump and she was less successful this go ‘round.
Refutation/Rebuttal: As I mentioned previously, Clinton postulated that Trump was responsible for encouraging the hacks to continue and yet questioned whether Wallace’s question was valid because of the possibility of the content being altered. If it confused pundits, I’m sure it confused the public at large. Again, she was playing “prevent defense” (in gridiron terms) or “parking the bus” (in soccer terms) simply to prevent a loss rather than trying to do more than aggravate her easily-provoked opponent. Trump turned in his best performance yet, but unfortunately for him he missed a number of chances to land a haymaker. His answer on his income taxes (or lack thereof) was smart but I doubt a lot of people caught it because he didn’t repeat (preferring instead to repeat everything else). He asserted he would change the tax laws so people couldn’t get around paying them (since he has not been accused of any legal dereliction and was able to use existing tax law to avoid paying them). Clinton offered little of substance in regard to her own alleged wrongdoing (with the e-mails) and simply used every opportunity she could to stump for The Clinton Foundation while attacking Trump for using illegal labor on his past projects and for using The Trump Foundation to make a profit. He missed the chance to nail her for the same thing while “serving” as Secretary of State and then didn’t call her hypocrisy for expressing outrage at him using illegal labor and “Chinese steel” to build his hotel in Las Vegas. If she loves open borders and free trade so much, what was the issue? Debate is not his strong suit, but then again, I question whether or not argumentation, policy and politics in general are something he’s suited for whatsoever. Further, Trump failed to say more than he would negotiate new trade deals to raise revenues to cover for the massive deficits and national debt level increases incurred by the extensive tax cuts offered by his economic plan. Secretary Clinton, meanwhile, said Obama doubled the debt because inherited a bad situation and that her husband did a great job of closing the deficit and generating a surplus, failing to point out that he inherited a great situation and that the Republican-run Congress at the time compelled him to balance the budget in the first place. My answer to anyone crying about a bad situation is to not run for office if they can’t handle the status quo. Poor form all around.
Decision: Unfortunately for the American people, I would’ve called this round, again, between the thirty and forty-minute mark(s) due to their refusal (more severe on her part but he was no lamb) to diverge from their ad hominem attacks and actually focus on a substantive policy discussion. DOUBLE LOSS.