Political Beast: Crossing The Lines With Trump and History

No, no, we aren’t accusing anyone in the Trump administration of crossing any ethical, moral or legal lines here. Not in this particular article, so don’t get too excited. We’re talking about time-lines. What Political Beast would like to do, in the midst of the guns-blazing rhetoric flying around the famous egg-shaped White House office occupied by the Dealer-in-Chief himself, is to get some sort of perspective on how Trump (and the rest of us) are doing so far since the inauguration a month and a half ago. Like the perspective gained by C3PO and R2D2 at the beginning of Episode IV, walking through a hail of blaster fire to launch an escape pod that gave our golden-bodied protagonist a view that prompted him to exclaim from the pod, “Strange, the damage doesn’t seem so bad from here.” Perhaps. Ordinarily, in this case, we would find someone on the ground with direct information regarding the behavior and performance of the President thus far, then do a solid, unbiased interview, producing hard facts for our readers’ analysis. But let’s alter the deal a bit and instead interview one of the great loves of my life: Madam History.

We’re going to make this pretty straightforward: Trump’s got confirmations hung up in the Senate, a health care plan to pass, and a budget proposed to Congress. That pretty much hits the high points, right? But how is he handling all of this? And how have other modern presidents managed their early struggles? Oh, by the way, you and I could spend the next few paragraphs arguing over when “modern” began, but let’s leave that to the comment section below. We’ll begin with Herbert Hoover. With him began the debate over social welfare, health care, retirement benefits, veterans’ affairs, government regulation, and internationalism, to name but a few. So, agree or disagree, that’s that and here we go:

President Hoover (1929) had an extremely easy go of it with his administration nominees. A Republican majority comparable to Trump’s, combined with President Hoover’s decade-long record in federal service, led to quick approval of most of his picks for cabinet. But Hoover’s signature issue, creation of a Federal Farm Board to stabilize agriculture prices, found stiff opposition from conservatives in his own party (just like Trump’s health care bill). In the end, Hoover responded by calling Congress back to Washington for a Special Session, and held them there until a compromise was reached. Later events ruined this president politically, but we’re talking early-on here.

Boy, oh boy, is this next one tough to fit into one paragraph. It’s only possible if we remember that Franklin Roosevelt (1933) didn’t pass his entire famous (infamous?) alphabet soup of federal programs all at once. In the beginning, the Works Progress Administration was his top priority, unleashing 3 million unemployed men to help rebuild America’s infrastructure and to help renew deforested land in the West. Considering the state of the nation at the time, it is no surprise this piece of legislation flew through Congress. Maybe this is a special case, but remember: FDR was pushing through a costly program based on a new paradigm: that the federal government is responsible for shoring up the American economy in times of depression or crisis. Roosevelt depended on his vibrant, positive personality to get this done, not so much on his ability to wheel and deal. Oh, and his nominees were passed as a formality. Great Depressions tend to have that affect, even on petty politicians.

Another strange case for examining early presidential performance is that of Harry Truman (1945). Taking over during a World War, after the death of an extremely popular President, sorta guarantees you approval of your agenda, at least for the first year or so. Plus, Truman kept all of Roosevelt’s cabinet members, appointed no Supreme Court Justices until late in his term, and focused almost entirely on WWII. Let’s skip this one. Unless Trump ends up in a global state of total war soon. If that happens, Political Beast promises to file an addendum. Yeah, so…

Dwight Eisenhower was a respected war hero and established bureaucratic manager, but he did represent a sea (and political party) change when he took over in 1953. His nominees to cabinet hailed from all corners of the lower 48 states and from both major parties, so they were more or less accepted quickly, something to consider in light of the current president’s proposed hardline conservative characters. As for agenda, peace for Dwight D. was numero uno, and not just peace in Europe, but future peace with the Soviet Union. In the light of Stalin’s recent death and the end of hostilities with Germany and Japan, one would think this an imminently achievable and desirable goal. Not quite. Among many on both sides of the aisle in Congress, President Eisenhower’s budget, with its increased funding of cheap, mid-range nukes and de-funding of traditional military hardware and manpower, Ike’s plan was considered dead on arrival. Yes, yes, just like Trump’s budget today. Eisenhower was mostly successful in getting what he wanted, but not by strong-arming (like Hoover), or glad-handing (like Roosevelt), but by an endless willingness to compromise. It could be argued this compromising almost led to a nuclear crisis later-on, but, again, we’re not talking later, we’re talking early.

The winner of the 1960 Presidential campaign, Richard Milhous Nixon, didn’t get a chance (at this time) to show how he would handle his first months in office, thanks to Mayor Richard Daley of Chicago and a Senator from South Texas, Lyndon Johnson, each of whom contributed to the stuffing of a sufficient number of ballot boxes to see John Fitzgerald Kennedy sworn in as President in 1961. With less than half the nation behind him, JFK took an interesting gallop coming out of the gate. Even in his inaugural address, he emphasized service by this nation’s citizens for each other, and for the planet as a whole. Far from engaging early in the controversial issues that fueled his debates with Nixon, he pursued first the creation of a Peace Corps to spread democratic values and non-military service to others around the globe. The Peace Corps for several decades was a force for good and for good-will in the world, so we count this as a success, although the Bay of Pigs fiasco (only a couple of months into his term) sort of overshadowed this early achievement, but let’s not get distracted. If The Donald had surprised all of us by starting out suggesting a scholarship program for Americans learning Arabic, in order to cross the cultural divide, perhaps Congress would be on board. Or perhaps not. As for Kennedy’s nominees, by the way, solid Democrat majorities at the time greased the wheels that rolled President Kennedy’s nominees through Congress at a rapid clip.

Johnson (1963), like Truman in ’45, took over in odd (read: tragic) circumstances. Like Harry, he kept the cabinet he inherited, but, unlike Harry, he embarked on a rapid and radical legislative undertaking that gave us the Civil Rights Act, Voting Rights Act, and Medicaid/Medicare in short succession. While these were not passed for more than a year, the bills themselves were proposed almost before JFK was cold. And they WERE passed eventually. Whether or not LBJ could’ve gotten this done without the corpse of an assassinated president still fresh in everyone’s mind is debatable, but the President’s famous “Johnson Treatment” was still employed to great affect in the halls and elevators of Congress, with or without the momentum from JFK’s assassination. Would hardball tactics (like locking Congressmen in a room and turning off the air conditioning in the middle of summer until they agree) work for a president like Donald Trump? I dunno. Do you?

Ah, yes. Back to 1960’s big winner: Dick Nixon. A few bored years as a name on a shingle at a major law firm in NYC, one lost California Gubernatorial campaign, and a once-and-for-all-farewell-to-politics speech later, Tricky Dick (1969) is back. Nixon was elected at an interesting time for party politics in this country–as if party politics is ever non-interesting–and his cabinet nominees experienced this firsthand. Announced in December, his entire cabinet, minus one (that all-important Interior Secretary pick) were approved by Congress the day Nixon was inaugurated. In 20 minutes. The reason I mention the interesting state of party politics is because the President at this time enjoyed massive support among southern Democrats, along with healthy enthusiasm among quasi-liberals on both coasts, in both parties, so labels went more or less by the boards, and this particular President enjoyed an easy time at first. This easy time was reinforced by Nixon’s primary concern and primary action: to get out of the country. It’s long been an accepted presidential adage that, “At home, half the country is against you. Abroad, all the country is with you.” On his tour of France, England, Belgium–home of the U.N.–and the Vatican, the President shone, buttressing our allies’ confidence and his support back in Washington. What if today the well-recognized comb-forward was seen bouncing around the capitols of Europe and Asia, instead of bouncing behind the podium at rallies here in the States? Not making a judgment, just thinking out loud.

After accepting (barely) the reality of impending impeachment, President Nixon made a once-and-for-all exit from politics–for real this time–turning the Presidency over to Gerald R. Ford in 1974. Here the broken record once again plays the tune of a president taking over unexpectedly and keeping the cabinet intact, so no controversy there, but ooo, la-la! Controversy ensued on other fronts almost at once. The pardon of former-President Nixon was Ford’s first order of the day, followed by the decision not to intervene as South Vietnam fell to the communists. These were presidential prerogatives, not legislative proposals, but it does make one think: even with a strongman like Trump in office, we haven’t seen this sort of exercise of raw presidential power so far. It fell to a friendly, popular, mild-mannered gentleman like Gerry Ford to pull Oval Office stunts like this. Hmmm. Well, before moving on, it’s only fair to point out that Ford’s first major legislative item was a sweeping arms-control treaty with the Soviets, which was passed with ease by the Senate, but mostly forgotten amidst the anger over Nixon’s pardon and the fall of Saigon.

Pardons again were the first order of the day for the president that would return us briefly to Democrat rule in 1977. And these pardons were every bit as unpopular as that of Mr. Nixon by Mr. Ford. It seems strange now to think that a man as personally popular as Governor Jimmy Carter of Georgia could squander that popularity as quickly as President Jimmy Carter actually did. Like Ford’s first acts, Carter’s were executive orders, first an act pardoning all Vietnam draft-dodgers, followed by a televised scolding of the American people for their wasteful energy usage practices. These burnt up the last scraps of confidence in the imagined leadership at the end of Pennsylvania Avenue, and, as with Ford, overshadowed Carter’s successful peace treaty work, forged between the US, Egypt, and Israel. It’s more than a little interesting that the Trump inner circle has been struggling with potential pardons itself, but has decided to hold off. We’re talking about Ed Snowden, Julian Assange, and Hillary in particular. Would these pardons hamstring the White House as it did in the ’70s, or are the circumstances markedly different? To wrap up with Carter, though, perhaps it was because most of the cabinet had been in place for at least 8 years, or maybe because they were not well-beloved (or both), but at any rate, Carter didn’t have to wait long for all of his nominees to be confirmed, but for that lone HUD candidate, and even she got in after a bit of wrangling. Guess Congress was ready for some new faces. Sorry, Kissinger.

After a fairly swift nominating process (Robert Bork was unsuccessful at being confirmed, but later-on), the next president on our list made his first order of business slashing federal entitlement spending, cutting taxes, and funding a massive military buildup. But there’s one marked difference between Ronald Reagan (1981) and Donald Trump today. While Trump is busy dodging bullets from MSNBC and CNN, at this time in Reagan’s presidential career, he was busy dodging bullets from the end of a .22 pistol wielded by John Hinckley, Jr. The President was successful at dodging 3 out of the 4 bullets fired. A success, I think (though Reagan never tweeted about it). At any rate, surviving this assassination attempt did wonders to propel Reagan’s signature legislation through an unfriendly legislative body. Setting aside Political Beast’s bent toward the jocular for a moment, we will not make any suggestion that pistols and presidents should ever be brought together in such a way, even if it leads to success in battling Congress. And this article is, in part, an attempt to find other, less-violent routes to that same success, so we will proceed.

While some of the presidents described above kept their inherited cabinets, Bush I (1989) kept the men, just not in the same positions. By simply shuffling the deck, H.W. put his own mark on the White House power scheme, while avoiding the need for new Senate confirmation hearings. Pretty darn clever, but then, that describes the elder Bush’s presidency fairly well. Except for the part where those pesky tax increases got him beat by Clinton in ’92. Or was that loss all just because of Ross Perot? Whatever the case, loss was how George H.W. Bush exited. How he entered was with great fanfare, few Senate delays on his nominees, and a litany of stated goals achieved in his first 100 days. How did he accomplish massive increases in DEA spending, aid to former Soviet-bloc nations and a slash in capital gains taxes, and all so quickly? Here’s how: by successfully negotiating a complex and comprehensive compromise budget with a Democrat Congress. You see, Bush the elder believed in accomplishment through consensus, not executive fiat, flattery, or force. This approach served him well in the beginning, although it led to his eventual rejection at the polls, as Congress refused to continue compromising without increases in overall tax revenue. In light of this, Trump seems to be taking somewhat of a middle ground, by saving some of his more controversial aims for next year’s budget, instead of laying it all on the line now. Congressional election year might (or might not) be a better time for a meeting of minds. We’ll see.

After winning the presidency with only 46% of the vote, it would seem William Jefferson Clinton (1993) would be lame at best as he stumbled into his first few weeks and months in office. However, with solid majorities in both houses, Clinton’s lack of Washington connections and lack of a majority at the polls did not deter him. His wife’s highly-visible and highly-disastrous attempts at health care reform aside, this president still got his $1.5 trillion budget through faster than any of the above men save FDR, with the first-ever Family Medical Leave provision included, and through his authority as Commander-in-Chief, sent an impressive amount of military and emergency aid to Yeltsin’s Russia. Interestingly, the budget did not include a rollback of H.W. Bush’s tax increases, which is the single issue Clinton consistently beat Bush on in the campaign. Seems Trump is not the first to make bold campaign predictions, only to yawn and move on once elected. Here, by the way, we see another example of President Trump taking somewhat of a midway in the early road. Health care reform? Yep, but not the revolutionary and fundamental alteration of Hillary in ’93. Instead, we have today a proposal from the West Wing that seems to anger both extremes, but might just work for the majority in the middle. We say it might just.

Political Beast comes now to the man whose recent presidency is a splinter still underneath some of our readers’ skins. Of course, we could all quit picking at it and it would probably just work itself out on its own. Or we could use some of that stinky black ointment that supposedly makes it come out faster. Wait, what would the analogy be for the ointment? Ok, forget that last part. The point is: we all have strong feelings about this one as a matter of course, but, thank God, as controversial as George W. Bush (2001) was, his first month or so is pretty easy to describe: he brought back most of his father’s cabinet (like his father, he shuffled the deck quite a bit) and passed a budget that cut taxes by a larger amount and percentage than any president before or since. After his popularity post-9/11, he doubled down on these tax cuts by actually mailing checks to everyone in the country (whether they actually paid taxes or not), but in the beginning, his actions were simple: put Dad’s crew back in place, lower taxes. And it worked. Well, it worked as in it was all approved by Congress. Comparatively, Trump has done something similar in sticking to just one major piece of stand-alone legislation (health care reform), and a first-year budget with only half his agenda included. Elegantly simple, simply elegant, or just the work of a simpleton? There are other ways to describe it as well. I guess.

Time for the final POTUS in the mix. Of course, we said we were going to talk about modern presidents. Does Barack Obama (2009) really count as a modern president? In a world of Islamo-Fascism, the popularity of blatantly racist political parties in Europe, and the ability to disseminate information and disinformation globally in an instant, are we experiencing a post-modern political reality? The question’s been asked in some form or fashion since McKinley was president, so we’ll say “modern” and simply trudge forward. Obama caught some flack at first for his choices for Attorney General and Secretary of State, as well as EPA and HUD, but this resistance was mostly a result of a Republican realization that they had no power to slow down the legislative snowplow coming their way, so they took their puny stand where they could; during the confirmation hearings. In the end, they lost there as well. As for that legislative onslaught, it resulted in an expansion of CHIP, covering 4 million more children and pregnant women, and the passage of the Affordable Care Act. Interestingly, Obama’s first few executive orders (supporting the U.N. resolution on gender identity, rolling back international restrictions on abortion funding, and closing Guantanamo Bay) were quickly overturned or blocked after the Republican takeover of the House of Representatives in 2010, much like his ACA is being dismantled by the 115th Congress, currently in session. President Trump, ever the boisterously bombastic personage that he is, has mostly refrained from wielding the scepter of executive privilege in pursuit of his aims, maybe learning from recent history.

History. What did she teach us in the last 15 paragraphs? Hoover called Congress to task in a Special Session, Roosevelt flattered, Eisenhower compromised, Kennedy soft-pedaled, Johnson strong-armed, Nixon traveled, Carter scolded, Reagan got shot, Bush 41 budgeted, Clinton failed (health care) then aimed small (Family Medical Leave), Bush 43 kept it simple from the beginning, Obama focused narrowly and executive-ordered broadly, and Trump…? Well, President Donald J. Trump has no WWII like Truman, but has set himself up for an open budget discussion with Congress, like Eisenhower. Unlike JFK, our reigning prez has chosen to stick to his campaign priorities instead of softening his positions, and unlike LBJ, he has refrained from hard-nosed bullying tactics and threats to Congressional leaders. Dissimilar to Nixon, Trump hasn’t chosen to get out of the country, and hasn’t elected to pardon any of the high-profile folks in the political, military, or intelligence communities, like Ford and Carter did. Ronald Reagan’s two primary spending targets are alive and well in Trump’s budget: military spending increases and tax cuts, and Trump’s approach seems to dovetail nicely with H.W. Bush’s: achievement through passage of a compromise budget. Also, H.W.’s son shares a similarity with Trump, in that both Bush 43 and DJT proposed only one major piece of legislation (apart from a federal budget) in their first month in the Oval. As for a comparison with our youngest (and most popular) former-president, Trump hasn’t used executive privilege much, and hasn’t yet had anything overturned, but has had half of his cabinet and court nominees held up in lengthy confirmation hearings. Much like the Republicans under Obama, though, it seems the Dems and their delay tactics have a limited shelf life. We shall see. In the end, every president is their own person with their own style and their own administrative process. But that process gets clearer with perspective. Did Political Beast provide that perspective? And does the damage to the ship maybe look a little less bad from here?

Gonzo State: [Untitled]

“Victory is ‘The Absence of Defeat'”

“Bentley! Bentley. I suggest…I suggest that you do something different with your life right now.” This instruction was delivered by my boss (at the time) to his unruly Huskie, but it might as well have been given to my entire generation.

As always, the day had given way to night and my mind had wrestled with itself long enough. I needed sanctuary, strong drink and a blank expression with which to watch the news on screens behind the heads of the locals. With the mind of a fried pie I careened my car down a thoroughfare of an unincorporated town in West Virginia, roughly sixty miles from Washington D.C.

“Babylon,” I came to call D.C. as a Sailor stationed in Bethesda, which was appropriate enough that no one cares to question the nickname. It was by a sense of awe, despair, disgust and reverence that I came by it the hard way some years ago.

The Christmas lights around Arlington had shone brightly on my most sentimental evening, awash with history and the sort of romance that saw my Army counterpart’s cheek against mine, her words in my ear accompanied by my kiss on her neck.

Then, the other shoe dropped and zang! I’m departing the parking garage of Target near P.F. Chang’s, a sudden desperate attempt to keep a fellow servicemember alive and out of trouble, and barely having arrived in Rockville, Maryland, found myself in the company of a remarkable amount of police officers. While all was eventually sorted out (one way or another), I did discover that being handcuffed, face down on the pavement amidst a soft rain gave me an amazing opportunity to learn and reevaluate the nonsense I’d allowed a foothold in my life. “Teachable moments,” I’ve come to call such events with a wince oft confused for a smile, and rightfully so.

“It’s an acquired taste.”

Let no good deed go unpunished.

“It was all downhill from there,” I uttered to my glass and coaster on the bar, awaiting another potent haul of ethanol. “Or is it, ‘down on the bed’ from there? Not nearly as catchy.” The general uproar that passed for ambience as karaoke loomed large made my private social commentaries a non-factor.

“Hell,” I continued, mulling over the equal parts glory and horror of yesteryear, “if I was a woman they’d’ve labeled me a slut.” This was most certainly true, as I had responded to the eventual collapse of the genuine, heartmelting romance that blossomed in Arlington by carousing. I went on to live up to the archetype of heathen in the Navy, only I hadn’t needed a new port. D.C. had an endless supply of trysts for me to temporarily bind the wound of heartbreak with. I had largely imploded things with she myself, but damn the torpedoes and full speed ahead, aye?

“Aye, got it!” I said, louder than intended as my libation arrived. Few noticed, none cared. But I digress.

Every single horror of the corruption of public life crept its way into Walter Reed the two years I’d been there as the primary Army and Navy hospitals merged there in Maryland. It was a handful of miles from the epicenter of our Federal Republic, our Representative Democracy. Whatever label you prefer, the genuine, tender romance and the unnecessary legal crucible were equal parts of the same story.

So it was yesterday and is today and will be tomorrow. Wars and rumors of wars will abound along with the usual ugliness, while the bountiful opportunities, resplendence, and monuments sacred to America and Her Republic will ring hollow for any looking for that chapter. However, for those with a soul not set for self-destruct, there was the beauty and elegance and love that I discovered in Babylon. For my part, I vacillated between the cauldron of brutality and the essence of hallowed humanity.

Lucifer and a third of his fellow angels rebelled (at least in part) over the perception that God valued something fashioned from dirt over them; we hamstrung ourselves with our humanity during that time (2011-2013) in Bethesda, both our frailties and our strengths.

Did we make the case against humanity with our failures? I’m not so sure. The defeatism and Apocalypticism of the admittedly conflicted era that was the “new” Walter Reed circa 2011-2013 stands apart from now in several ways. Without the deflating drudgery of rattling them all off, at the very least one could look their friends and enemies in the eye. Betrayal and intrigue might be lurking around the next corner (per the modus operandi of Babylon and the government circuit as a whole) but those seeming eons ago politics was still the art of compromise. Then-POTUS Obama (D-IL) and then-House Speaker Boehner (R-OH) can hardly be soberly accused of engaging in the politics of blood sport we’ve now.

Now? Depending on their background, looking one’s enemies and/or friends in the eye might get you flagged on any number of social media platforms and could very well get you labeled with some sort of “-ism”, as one type of “-ist” or another. A whole decade ago Section 230 was applied within the spirit of its creation, lending the happenings online a sort of Wild West vibe when juxtaposed to the great cosmic gag-reel taking place now.

“What is Section 230?” one might ask. This, too, is a well-placed and unscripted question, but it makes little difference when Louis Farrakhan can spit his vile verbal excrement at hapless passerby on social media, but not Donald Trump. No, indeed. Hardly an avid defender of the former POTUS, I nonetheless present our Federal support and protections for our Silicon Valley overlords as Exhibit A for the how/why (either/and/or) the Federal Communications Commission has adequate pretext to cry foul. This is tantamount to “collateral censorship”, or censorship by proxy. That’s the biggest item George Orwell didn’t foresee in my favorite novel, “1984”: private enterprise conducting the censorship, and not the state itself.

Since I’ve likely lost anyone who hates The Donald for my defending his First Amendment rights, I might as well toss a grenade in this burgeoning dumpster fire. Wouldn’t Joe Manchin lead off that way?

“The wind only blows sometimes.” “He’s exactly right!”

While hardly the binary option both the Communists of the Far Left and the Fascists of the Far Right want all the Sheeple to give an “Amen!” and believe, the conflict between being a John Locke liberal in favor of largely laissez-faire capitalism (not the crony kind) with a strong, (but) limited Federal government and in wanting a respectable return on our investment in Section 230 protections granted Silicon Valley (and company), it is amusing on a perverse level.

“Afterall,” I told myself, “everyone hates a centrist, so you might as well enjoy it, Jack. The good news is, only White elitists are storming off after closing your column a few paragraphs back. They can kick rocks. There’s surely a Mother Jones article or athletic mutant defecating on the very flag that enables their miserable existence out there, somewhere, that they can flee to. Still miserable, but they showed me! No First Amendment for the people who make us think and shit.”

It was only at the end of this paragraph that I realized I wasn’t just thinking this as I tapped it into a note on my phone for later insertion into this very diatribe. I was muttering much of it out loud.

“Ignore the madness of a world that has made this swashbuckler appear normal. Ignore the celebutante-rejects aghast at those not absorbed in Chinese spyware ‘social’ apps available on any mainstream App Store.”

And why not? Afterall, the Communists now want the populace to swallow the latest swill their Thought Police have puked out, and nod slowly, basking in the wisdom of the notion that Black children being taught mathematics is racist. Conversely, the Fascists want the citizenry at-large to embrace their latest, unintelligible Reductio Ad Absurdum that beating cops to a pulp while shouting racist terms at the non-White officers is okay as long as they’re patriots. Thin Blue Line and all. “Thin Blue Line”, you ingrates? Put the straw down.

“In God We Trust.” Mhmm.

“Dear God Almighty,” I mumbled into my Long Island Iced Tea, nearly gone due to the urgent need to anesthetize myself. No reply, and not because He wants us to forget He exists, but because it’s the pizza we ordered, and it has arrived with all the trappings. Whose fault is that?

The lunacy in the former example is in those on the Far Left who by proxy think the Black intellect is so dormant, psyche so timid, that there need be no Black doctors, economists, engineers, et cetera, in the future. Mathematics is a rather integral part of the process of those career paths. Who’s holding who back with racist ideology again, exactly?

The madness in the latter example is at least as vivid and particularly poignant from people on the Far Right who think cops can do no wrong. You say The Filth went too far in Example X? “I say they didn’t go too far enough!” some neo-Successionist will bleat with the fervor of a patriot, by God. Just a patriot to another country, and not this one. But why quibble about it? Sure, seems reasonable enough to pass muster on “Squidbillies.”

Imitation being the highest form of flattery, the method to the unorthodoxy of this publication has never been less necessary. Both extremes in the sadly binary world of Castro and Mussolini neophytes demand the long-term vision, the sort of engaging in politics (again, “The Art of Compromise”) as a year-round endeavor that there is no app or “hack” for. The marathon, not the sprint, is what is at hand. I’d rather flatter the Edward Brooke III, the Alexander Hamilton, the Barbra Streisand, the Hunter S. Thompson and even the Master Shake with imitation than embrace the intellectual suicide of either Irredeemable America or Exceptional American Unilateralism.

Whichever clown car takes the stage from either extremist wing of discourse, they both will assure us that we’d feel so much better if only we’d embrace their brand of groupthink. Tsk, tsk, I know, but such is the rot of the putrescence we’ve inexplicably opted to wallow in.

“Soylent Green is people.”

What both teams of malcontents mean is we’ll feel much better carrying all of our favorite shows with us on all of our devices as they continue embezzling and funneling money to the duopoly in Babylon. The royalty on Capitol Hill will then reward our wholehearted faith with continued malignant governance and further insolvency on every level (social, fiscal, geopolitical, et al).

“Who knows?” I mumbled with a shrug. “With any luck, the dead will walk again and we’ll have an existential reason to disallow the Neanderthals in Congress from fucking the same coconut over and over while saying they’re carrying out the people’s business. All, naturally, with a straight face. And pursed lips. Can’t forget the ‘duck face.’ Gotta meet my fellow Millennials halfway.”

“You say something, Hun?”

The bartender had taken notice of my glass being devoid of strong drink, and grew concerned. Animals entering sexual congress with fruit, however, passed muster.

‘Of course it did,’ I thought, but could only reply with a low rasp as I exited my barstool.

“Yes, Ma’am. Check please.”

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Six Degrees of Knowin’ Nothin’: [Untitled]

And on the 8th day, God made bears. Lots and lots of bears.

Does this era need introduction? Or, rather, may a suitable introduction be written? I report, you deride.

1: In any rational era, the sudden appearance of lurid photographs of well-known public figures tends to happen without the consent of those captured in the images. Jennifer Lawrence, Kate Upton, Anthony Weiner, et al. Notable exceptions to this are of the celebutante variety who sport last names such as Hilton and Kardashian, but then, their deliberate release of self-incriminating material isn’t indicative of a rational era.

That there’s a Stairway to Heaven but a Highway to Hell is indicative of expected traffic volume.

The great Jerry Falwell, Jr., well his undeniable greatness as an Evangelical Christian minister and university president is so ineffable, so vast, that he was no longer able to be confined by any notion of modern decency. If that’s still a thing, that is. Either way, the photograph posted containing the erstwhile head of Liberty University (and descendent of the late and decent Jerry Falwell) is disturbing on several counts. Let’s take a look:

Now, I’m not sure if it’s the ghastly attempt at humor (yeah, “black water”, haw haw haw!), the self-caricature of the gut and the unzipped pants combined with the awful rug on his counterpart (who is not his wife, for those keeping score at home), the fact that students of said Evangelical university get expelled for drinking and/or extra-marital sexual encounters, or that this wasn’t a leak at all that makes this such a disgrace. He could’ve just said it was a faux Black Dog in his glass and been done with it.

The man (so-called) “leaked” it via his own social media aperture, and then delivered a truly abysmal mockery of an apology on-air, and I quote: “I’ve promised my kids I’m going to try to be…I’m gonna try to be a good boy from here on out.” Rock and Roll, Jerry!

Oh and Mrs. Falwell, when your marriage does end, remember: you [expletive deleted] your rebound, and that’s it. You don’t permanently abscond from reality and keep [expletive deleted] them long-term and/or marry them. Especially, I might add, if you plucked them from the extras of “The Walking Dead.”

Silly me. But seriously, though: booze and Evangelicals and social media shouldn’t mix.

2: At times, the headlines write themselves. In their own attempt to swing loose with reality, as it were, Iran has a fabricated aircraft carrier resembling one of those wielded by the United States Navy. “Why”, you ask? An entirely unscripted and well-placed question. For their own propaganda purposes that is, until the entire experiment blew up in their faces. Living out their own version of “delirium tremens”, Iran was so successful in this charade that their accidental destruction of a prop US Navy aircraft carrier poses a threat to a major thoroughfare in the oil trade. Posing an existential threat to traffic in the Strait of Hormuz, and things apparently unbeknownst to Iran such as tides can shift the wreckage, endangering oil tankers.

Give the Ayatollah our best. Speaking of “the best”, if you’re going to challenge the world’s preeminent naval power, you’d better come correct. The Battle of Evermore this is not.

3: Biden must face Trump in debate(s). Yes, it’s answering a “double dog dare” from the POTUS and no, you don’t want to give in to the whims of a bully. But if you don’t follow through then it looks like you’re hiding in a basement and afraid to face Donald J. Trump on the stage. What’s the worst that could happen? They then “triple dog dare” one another to a lindy hop dance-off to the “Misty Mountain Hop” or hand out four sticks (one to both members of each ticket) to swing with? Why would you be afraid of that if you’re in the Biden camp unless, per the Trump camp’s assertions, the former Vice President will be unable to remember whether he’s going to California, or another, “y’know, the thing” that the Founding Fathers said? The great equalizer is the human ego. They’ll debate.

This is an event waiting to go wrong. Don’t hang out with bears. [image credit to Daily Caller & Barstool Sports]
4: Meanwhile, the National Park Service has posted a warning urging American adventurers not to confront bears but, if they do, to not take advantage of their slower companions. And no, this is not made up. Nor is the response of a pack of humans, recently, to a bear arriving in their midst. They didn’t flee or otherwise attempt to discourage the bear; instead they took pictures of their merry band whilst feeding the bear. Good call, ‘Murica.

5: Bill Barr’s appearance was a disgrace for everyone except the Attorney General. For committee chairman Nadler, to open the hearing with that statement was an outrage; and Jordan, thanks for the monologue on things that happened before Barr was back on the job and for God’s sake put your damn coat on!

6: Stat of the Week: the POTUS’ campaign is knocking on 1 million doors a week; the former VPOTUS’ camp is knocking on 0. As in ZERO. Z-E-R-O. This sort of nonsense only seems like nonsenseuntil the time when the levee breaks. Underestimate the mad media genius of The Donald at your peril.

Y’know what? Let’s just cancel everything. If everything’s priority one, then nothing is priority one.
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Contrast: Black Lives Matter v. All Lives Matter (et al)

Black Lives Matter: Let’s cut through the fat together, shall we? Yes or yes? Good. With that, we have a problem in America. Several, actually. We live in a police state, for one thing, and for another, paramount now, is said police state taking a particular interest in African Americans.

Let’s also consider the unbelievable, highly-classified powers of FISA courts to spy unopposed on our own people without their knowledge indefinitely, the ability of the Federal government to suspend the Constitutional rights of American citizens suspected of terrorism via the Patriot Act and the inexplicable repeal of the Smith-Mundt Act (which forbade the Federal Government from using propaganda on American soil). Are you drinking what I’m pouring?

With no malice in my heart toward the many fine police officers across the land (a few I’ve known personally), I say again: we live in a police state.

Over the past decade alone, we have seen increasing examples of the use of excessive force on a disproportionate number of black Americans. Data clearly shows that Whites compose 76.5% of America’s citizenry while Blacks make up 13.4% of it, the former were shot to death by police 370 times versus 235 for the latter.

For those who want to bring out FBI data displaying prevalence of crime amongst inner city black neighborhoods, recall the negligible difference in drug use between whites and blacks and the parity in gun culture between the two.

America glorifies violence, and that crosses ethnic lines. Don’t believe me? Look at what I call “Dollar Voting”, in essence, what we value and spend our money on. What does our art and culture reflect? If we’re being real, it ain’t peace. Does hip hop culture lend itself to violence? Listen to the top ten hits of the genre and get back to me; but before you get back to me, let me know what Johnny Cash, Waylon Jennings, Jerry Reed and “The Dukes of Hazzard” were all about while you’re at it.

As for the movement itself, “Black Lives Matter” is driving home a simple point: yes, every house in the neighborhood matters but only one of them is on fire.

We hardly need a hashtag for Blue (Police) Lives Matter; they roam about largely unopposed, vested with a badge and lethal weaponry, and we provide a safety net (union, pension, et cetera) and, in general, blanket support to include the high probability that bad actors aren’t held accountable in court.

All Lives Matter? Do they? Maybe I’d be more decisive in answering these questions if every new episode of “Death By Cop” didn’t always star a black man.

– Jack DeViney

*************

 

New Orleans Police Department preps for ongoing confrontation and protest throughout downtown.

All Lives Matter(?): Two things can be true at once. In fact, very few things in our world are mutually exclusive of themselves. One can, for example, be in favor of the events in the George Floyd case never happening again and find the phrase “Black Lives Matters” offensive. They are not mutually exclusive. Both can be true. This depends on your definitions of words. Words matter. Words have meaning. Facts matter. Facts have meaning.

If by any definition, one is not a racist, but they will not stand shoulder to shoulder with Black Lives Matter signs, or they won’t kneel down in front of a mob of protestors, they become….what? Insensitive? Divisive?

To be true to this point, I believe “All Lives Matter” or “Blue Lives Matter” are equally asinine. We don’t protest on things we agree upon. We don’t stand outside and shout “the sky is blue”!

Are things worse now than the mid-1960’s? Or do we see public discord in 3D now? We report, you deride.

The assertion that a black man can not step from his home without fear of imminent death from a racist ‘Mericuh is as equally preposterous as the media’s “1619” narrative that America is as systemically racist as at any time in our history. Really? Where’s the poll of young, black men asking them if they’d rather live in 1865, 1965 or 2020? I must’ve missed that astute revelation.

Instead of regurgitated statistics that the left/media refuse to acknowledge anyway, how about we come at this from a novel approach. [So] what is your suggestion? I mean, with all of the statistics stating the exact opposite of your point, what are we doing wrong? Are our hiring standards too low? Is training being swept aside to fast-track officers onto beats? Do we provide immunity to officers that is unnecessary and counter-productive? Let’s get to the “nut cutting” as they say.

If we want to turn this into another narrative where the right just refuses to admit there is a substantial issue and is instead hiding behind years of conservative practices…show me! Where are the statistics that support any of this nonsense? That show America is systemically racist and prejudiced against black Americans? Where are the politicians that you are particularly citing as responsible for these aggressions? Or is it just “orange man bad”, with his “basket of deplorables”?

“You’re killing your father, Larry!”

Once again, the left/media have overplayed their hands. We were told millions of Americans would die if we didn’t shut the world down indefinitely. Now if you have a small business and want to re-open smartly so that you don’t lose everything, you’re killing grandma! We were told that if we would just allow LGBT marriages, all examples of bigotry would be history. Now if you’re a Millennial male that won’t go out with a trans-woman (a man by all scientific facts and definitions), you’re a homophobe! And now, if you won’t march to the beat of this drum, well, you’re just a racist. Or worse, an “Uncle Tom.”

It’s tiring. It’s divisive. It’s unnecessary. This issue is one we must agree on, or we don’t have a country. You cannot have law and order if one group is being systematically hunted down and killed by those sworn to protect us.

Facts matter. Statistics matter. Two things can be true at once.

– Michael R. DeViney, Jr.

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