Quite a few million taxpayer dollars, countless hurt feelings and one slightly disgruntled POTUS later, I had my chance at last to consume the report of The Special Counsel, one Robert S. Mueller III. I nearly wrote something to the effect of “…along with many other Americans…” but come on, let’s get real. “Many” and “Americans” and “read” outside of the compulsory do not make for apropos conversation.
Furthermore, I know my generation better than I’ll admit in any public forum, and because it’s not crammed with pictures of people with bodies barely crammed into clothing, I decided to go about summarizing the 448-page report on Russian interference in the 2016 Presidential Election with three guiding principles: one, include plenty of pictures of the game-changing moments; two, keep it brief (especially since it doesn’t resemble the banquet from “Caligula” and won’t hold minute attention spans); and three, split it into two parts coinciding with the two halves of the report. To explain why it’s split in two, I give you the first of many visual points of interest.
Just click on the images and they’ll pop up to the near and dear, “in your face”-style we just don’t see enough of in America. That, pawn shops, parking lots (replacing historic downtown venues), jocks and divas. America needs more of all that. Regardless, click on the images and your eyes (the whores of the sense organs) will see graphic evidence from The Special Counsel.
Volume one spells out the results of the investigation into if and to what extent (mostly) Russian operatives impacted the 2016 Election, and volume two is truly more familiar territory given that it focuses primarily on Donald J. Trump after the election when, as President, he fired then-director of the FBI, James Comey.
I would’ve been ever more succinct and said the two volumes are, essentially, “The Election: A Before And After” but that would imply that the majority of my generation were paying attention before their favorite Celebutante started pitching bitch-fits about losing.
What happened instead? The lot of them (Millennials, primarily) opted to wait until well over halfway into the story to “get involved” (that’s a riot) and then, to take the cake as Clubhouse Leader for “Joke of the Decade”, attempted to be assertive and speak authoritatively on America and Her Republic.
No, no, dear Millennial Americans, it doesn’t work that way. Oh, sure it does in whatever Godforsaken fantasy world of filthy hedonism you’re streaming from some app or the other this week, but politics is a world to be followed diligently. For years.
But hey, I’m having a good time!
Shall we continue?
Make no mistake: The President does not emerge unscathed smelling like a rose here. Particularly in the second half of the report, there are numerous points at which the Special Counsel felt that President Trump attempted to, at the very least, circumvent the investigation and, worst case, have Mueller removed from his post as Special Counsel. Mr. Mueller also, more or less, makes it clear to Congress that the issue of resolving this issue is up to them. Given the facts, Mr. Mueller observed there being simply too much ambiguity on whether a sitting President can be indicted, and he further felt that to issue a damning resolution to conclude the investigation would poison the well, so to speak, since Mr. Trump could not give rebuttal and defend himself like he would in a court of law. Mr. Mueller wrote that given those factual nuances (i.e., the President isn’t able to be treated like every other citizen by nature of the post), Congress must be the one to decide. Along with potential avenues for consideration by The House of Representatives for possible criminal conduct cited, he heavily implied that The Senate also has the tools to follow up on any referral(s) from The House to mitigate any damage done both to the Executive Branch and the rule of law. Given the statements of fact, as the report itself states, while there wasn’t enough to condemn the President and prosecute him outright for criminal activity, there also is more than enough to lack a conclusion of exoneration. In other words, Mr. Mueller felt that while he couldn’t outright issue a cry of outrage, he didn’t walk away feeling confident the President was entirely without fault, either.
Along those lines, chief among the losers here are the White House Press Secretary, Sarah Huckabee Sanders, whom the Special Counsel states lied on several occasions and, drumroll please? The Mainstream Media, which itself stumbles out of the fray as perhaps the most wounded. While some of their continuous drumbeat about Russia rang true (particularly in the second volume when actors within the Trump White House enter stage right) the single most overwhelming reason why they rank chief among sinners is because, at the end of the day, outside of areas where the Special Counsel says it could be so argued “here, here and here” that the POTUS attempted to interfere with the investigation, there exists no smoking gun. None.
Seemingly insignificant details like Michael Cohen having never been to Prague and the thorough damning of the Christopher Steele dossier serves (or should serve) as a stern, humiliating rebuke to the Mainstream Media. Instead, they’ll likely be caught up in debating amidst their fellow “neutral” observers whether House Speaker Nancy Pelosi (D-CA) and Co. should pursue articles of impeachment by following the possible obstruction points cited by Mr. Mueller. That and they’ll miss the part where not once, not one time, does any shred of evidence show actual vote counts were manipulated by hackers, and rending their garments their hearts will be wracked with grief all over again for the candidacy of Hillary Rodham Clinton. Again, though, they’ll skim entirely over the 448-page report showing no evidence that hackers and trolls and bots did anything other than fan the flames of public discord on social media. I’m not going to say “that’s all they did” because hundreds of thousands of posts by a handful of faux accounts is a lot, and the “shares” and “re-Tweets” by scores of legitimate (and likely well-meaning) Americans certainly affected the national mood.
The reality to be gleaned from this point, though, again, is that no vote counts were altered because of this activity. More importantly, those sentiments of hatred and spitefulness and the desire to smear and denigrate the other side came above all else.
Of note, I deliberately use the phrase “the other side” here because the President isn’t the only person in the examples cited by the report who benefited from the “work” of the Russian internet cabal (among others), as Senator Sanders (I-VT) was an intended beneficiary during the 2016 primary season.
There are numerous disturbing aspects to this entire charade. Chief of which being that, in this country, you’re supposed to be innocent until proven guilty, and yet where could an impartial jury be found after the Mainstream Media poisoned literally every potential jury pool in the land? Were a grand jury convened in the DC Metro area (where it would likely occur), we’re talking about a city where, all hyperbole aside, nine out of ten people voted for the Democratic Party ticket. Where do you suppose you’d find twelve people, a jury of Mr. Trump’s peers, to be impartial? Tie goes to the accused, as, again, you’re supposed to be innocent until proven guilty. And yes, that includes even a President you don’t like. Oh, and while we’re there? It doesn’t matter if you voted for him, if you voted for Hillary Clinton or some Godless mutant freaks running on a third-party ticket or stayed home (by not voting), he is your President. Like it or not, that’s who the Chief Justice of the United States Supreme Court swore in.
Get over it. The good news? You’re going to see your guy/lady/it win at some point in your heretofore apolitical existence and then it’ll be you and your fellow digital tripe consumers flocking to the Capitol. You’ll get together, screaming at people who voted for the other guy/gal/what-have-you about how “tolerant” you are and how those [expletive deleted] need to get “woke” like you.
And you? Hopefully claiming the intellectual high ground will include a working command of the English language by then.
While there are disturbing points here, we’ve all been exposed to quite a few of them just by having [insert cable news network] on-screen while muted. Now just you think about that. And while you do, know that at least a handful of people in the former communist bastion of Russia looked at (then-candidate) Donald Trump on the campaign trail and, taking it all in, they chose the word “refreshing” to describe him.
I’m not saying he didn’t say some things that needed to be said, or at least bring to the fore some things that were long overdue for discussion, but there was a lot of venom spewed by Mr. Trump long before we learned about how his fame came with a recipe for cream pies on the ignominious “Access Hollywood” recording.
Refreshing? Not as refreshing as the humor I found in learning he made those remarks while standing next to a guy with the last name “Bush.” I mean, come on, you can’t make this stuff up.
In all seriousness, it’s a damned shame so many of my generation have only just recently threatened to join the portion of America that’s paying attention to the slow-motion train wreck in Washington we’ve been observing for years now.
Nobody would believe the last three years if you’d put it in a movie that came out a decade ago. No one. And, God, the phrase “my generation” hits my ears and pings around my dome as sweetly as a MAGA hat in Mexico City.
And the truth? Well, for those of you who’ve read every bit of this article on the report from the Department of Justice, you know I wasn’t talking to you. Even if you are a Millennial. I’m referring to those, regardless of age (even though we know the vast majority of those guilty of my charges are, most assuredly, Millennials), who couldn’t find a convenient way to take current events with them on all of their devices like all of their favorite shows.
Because God [expletive deleted] forbid you not be entertained throughout every moment you (allegedly) spend awake every day.
And as for you, you “woke” pseudo-intellectual miscreants who’ve only been awake for the last two elections and want a cookie (or twelve), or at least a pat on the back, but only after giving express, written permission for that pat? You wanna know what happens, like, um, OMG WTF are we all supposed to do in-between now and the next election?
I dunno. Maybe you’ll’ve learned to read between the pictures by then.